Legendary fall
by Lindsay12866
Summary: Barney has a bad fall and gets amnsesia. I do not own the charactors
1. Chapter 1

Marshal and Lilly walked in to Hanagins pub because it offered more non alcoholic drinks for Lilly. They sat down. Lilly ordered a cherry sprite and Marshal ordered a beer. As they removed their coats, glad to be in from the harsh winter wind,They noticed the bar was more frantic then the normal hangout. In particular their were a lot of girls in their 20s giggling and running around. The couple kept overhearing the girls saying things like

"Hes coming soon" or

"He is going to pick me!"

Lilly's curiosity got the better of her and she asked a girl standing near the table about what was going on.

"The director of twilight's son is coming and he is looking for a girl to appear on a new vampire TV show!" The girl squealed.

"What does he look like" asked Marshal getting an uncomfortable feeling.

"He is hot look for yourself!" She said placing a flyer labelled "Twilight director's son seeks young female star!"

The couple looked at the picture and saw an all too familiar blond man staring back at them. "Barney!" they said silently while looking at each other.

A half hour later Barney walks in; after talking to girls he eventually walks over to where Lilly and Marshal were sitting.

"you guys have to help me!" he said in a whisper, you both are now members of Twilight's production crew!" he says looking at his friends hoping for a smile. But instead he saw Lilly glaring at him

"No Barney, I will not be part of one of your schemes! You being pathetic"

Barney looked Lilly in the eye and said "You are such a Grandma! Now be my wingman, and freshen up while your at it, a production crew member would not look like such a slob!"

Lilly stood up "I thought you would change after Robin and Nora but you will never grow up!" she shouted. Lilly grabbed her coat and walked out in a rush.

Barney watched her slam the door behind her and walk out into the cold New York winter. "Pregnancy mood swing!" he said to Marshal.

Marshal shock his head at Barney then stood up to go after his wife.

"Lilly is right you will never change!" Marshal yelled. He ran out to comfort Lilly.

Barney quickly ran after, them; as much as he wanted to hook up tonight he did not want his friends not speaking to him... yet again.

"Lilly!" he called.

Barney watched his friends hurry away not stopping or looking back. He quickened his pace to catch up. Unfortunately he did not see the sheet of ice. He slipped.

"My SUIT!" he yelled before hitting the pavement with a thud.

And everything went blank.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Note: Hi readers, forgot to put this in last chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the 'How I met Your Mother' characters **

**In addition i know next to nothing about amnesia. This story is meant to be fun/silly. If you are offended by the subject of amnesia treated lightly this is my warning**

Ted Robbin Lilly and Marshal were sitting in the waiting room at the New york central hospital. Robin was comforting Lilly who blamed herself for barneys accident.

"I never should have ran off, This was hardly his worst scheme, What if he never wakes up" she said fighting back tears.

"Barney is probably chatting a hot young nurse up now" Said Robin in a lame attempt to make Lilly laugh.

"good news, your friend is awake and wants to see you!" everyone turned to see a young nurse standing in the doorway. The four friends quickly went over to Barneys room.

"How are you feeling buddy!" asked Ted.

Barney sat up "Tired and confused." he said looking around the room

"Do you know who we are?" asked lily in the same soft voice she usually reserved for her kindergarteners.

"I know you are my friends but everything is kind of Hazy" Barney said. " I don't even remember your names" He continued looking down at his hands.

"At least you are going to have a story to tell everyone that is legend..wait for it ..ary" Obviously it was not Teds normal saying but he hopped it would jog his friends memory.

"Barney looked up at Ted "Why did you say it like that, are you unclear how to say the word?"

Ted smiled at Barney while the rest of the gang exchanged uncomfortable glances.

They then each introduced themselves with names and some basic background information.

Ted figured the best way to stop barney from being confused was to get him home as soon as possible

He would surely return to normal when he got back home.

* * *

>After getting the nurse's okay, Ted handed Barney a bag and told him to suit up and that they were going home.<p><p>

Barney changed into his suit and said goodbye to everyone else. Lilly ignored the fact that he had called her Rose.

Eventually they arrived at their front door. Barney pointed to the door of mclarins as the climbed the steps and said "I feel like I have had a lot of good times there!"

Ted took this is a good sign. "

"Your right buddy!" he said as he put his arm around Barney.

Barney walked right to his room as Ted sighed with relief; Barney was almost back to him self.

"is there anything I can get you?" Ted called from the kitchen.

Barney walked out of his room "A change of clothing would be nice! This suit is rather uncomfortable"

"Oh sorry, did I get you an itchy suit?" Ted asked.

"No, its the suit in general; how can anyone be comfortable in one of those things!" replied Barney.

A few hours later Barney and Ted walked into Mclarins. Ted pointed to the booth where the rest of his friends were sitting. He prayed that no one would comment on barneys ensemble; jeans and Teds old Metallica T shirt.

As they sat down Lilly looked up from her order of chicken wings.

"Barney I need to tell you something; before your accident we had a fight. I want you to know that I forgive you and you are one of my closest friends"

Barney reached over the Table and gave Lilly a hug.

"Sweetie I am sorry if I did something that made you feel bad; you are beautiful and so is your baby."

Lilly smiled. She did not want to admit it but Barney was a lot nicer after his accident.

All of a sudden Barney slid halfway under the table so only his head and shoulders were visible.

"You okay buddy?" asked Marshal.

"That girl over there by the jute box is so pretty, she makes me nervous"

The gang turned to see a petite blonde girl in a blue dress. She smiled and waved at Barney.

Barney sunk even lower into his seat.

"Man up Barney" Ted said

Ted looked at barney who looked back with nervous eyes. Barney picked his head up in alarm, "She is

coming this way!"

Ted got up from the table and walked over to the jute-box girl.

"Have you me Barney, he said gesturing to his friend!"

The girl walked over and shook Barneys hand.

"Barney was in a bad accident so he has a slight case of amnesia!" Lilly said. She sensed that Jute box girl was a soap opera fan so saying this would only help.

"I am Stacey " the girl replied with a giggle "Is am-le-za where you cant breath and stuff"

"No.. that's As-ma, amnesia is when you forget stuff!" Robin said in an exaggerated voice

"(giggle) Oh, well I forgot stuff all the time, like today I am wearing a short dress and forgot to wear underpants. " Stacey said leaning towards Barney.

Barney pulled back as if he was disgusted.

"I am here tonight to get to know my friends"

"If you change your mind here is my number"

Stacey pulled a pen out of her chest and wrote her number on Barneys arm with a wink.

"Were her boobs too small?" asked Marshal who seemed to be in denial of the fact that his friend was not himself anymore.

Barney started fiddling with his drink.

"Guys, do I attract women like that" he asked not looking up.

"Yes and you have always loved girls like that!" replied Ted.

Barney stood up

"Its been fun but I am just not ready for this. I cant remember information that a friend should know and I just feel uncomfortable. Ted I will be at our apartment."

"Get some rest" Said Robin.

Barney left to go upstairs

"I hate to say this but I like the new Barney!" Said Lilly.

"Lilly!" shouted Robin "How can you say that, He is our friend. Now you are saying you don't like what he is Really like"

"Its an improvement; The old Barney can learn a lot from his alter ego."

"This is not better! It is just weird!"

"I am just saying I would not mind if he was like this for a while"

"Barney may be an idiot at time but I don't want him any other way. "

**Future Ted: Kids this went on for hours and became one of the biggest debates we have ever had. All you need to know is that at the end of the night Lilly still thought Barney was better after the accident, Robin did not like this version of him, I was in the middle and Marshal was still in denial that barney had changed.**

Ted and Barney walked home exhausted from the excitement of the past couple days, When they got home they hardly said two words to each other. Barney went to watch TV while Ted graded some papers.

Later when Ted was done he walked out to the living room. He saw the TV off and Barneys bedroom door closed. He noticed a pile of tissues. He went to pick them up noticing they were wet. Here he was wondering if Barney was better after the fall and meanwhile barney had been crying. Ted felt worse then he did when he dumped Natalie on her birthday. Ted decided he needed to go back to the hospital to find out what was wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Ted walked into the hospital waiting room and sat down. An older homely women introduced herself as Tara and called him into her office. Ted noticed her office was small as closet. Ted sat down in a folding chair.

"You are a good person wanting to learn more about your friends condition" Tara said

"Barney has always been one of my most interesting friends and he is not himself any more" Ted sighed.

"You have a right to be concerned; your friend has developed situation specific amnesia"

"What's that"

"its when a patient cant recall information from certain situations. usually the patient can't remember crisis events"

"Well my friend cant seem to recall anything about his party life or how to pick up women'

"I know, your friend is quite a unique case, its one of the first times when memories blocked out are not of a traumatic event" Tara said looking through a pile of papers

Tara went on to explain more about the disease. She explained to Ted that he could help speed things up by trying to make Barney's life normal.

" But my friend's lifestyle is full of drinking, staying out all night and schemes to get laid" Ted said feeling uneasy.

This was hardly the life style a nurse would recommend. He thought to himself how as much as he did not want to admit it; Lily had a point. Barney sort of was living a healthier lifestyle. He was even eating Teds home cooked meals instead of the take out he usually had. In addition he always left early for work. Lately he had left before Ted woke up.

" Still it is important to keep things as normal as possible, encourage him to party, hook him up with women" Tara said much to Teds shock.

Eventually Ted left to go home; he had a lot to think about

Later that day the phone rang.

"Oh hey marshal!"

"Hey Ted"

"Bad news, Barney does have amnesia !"

"Ted that's why I called. I don't get why you are all making a big deal, Barney is fine"

"Marshal he is not fine he is not himself he has Situation specific amnesia"

"Sorry bro but he is just confused or maybe he is acting this way because he thinks Lilly and I are still

mad. Either way he is not suffering from anything"

Ted felt like the conversation would never end but it did.

"Barney!" he called. Ted was not up for a long night of partying but he figured he would at least get some numbers. "Barney!"

When no one answered he walked into the living room. He saw Barneys door closed. _Well its 930pm looks like its Barneys new bed time. _He thought to himself.

The apartment was eerily quiet. Sure in the past barney had spent many a night at a random girls place. However, somehow knowing his friend was asleep in his room made the apartment more silent. He pushed open Barneys door to see the back of barneys head poking out from a pile of covers. A Lifetime movie was playing on mute.

Ted closed the door and went to the liqueur cabinet. He grabbed a bottle Barney had earlier nicknamed "Panty-be-gone" He chugged a long sip.

The next thing Ted knew he was lying in his bed with a pounding headache and an urge to vomit. _Ugh how much did I drink,_ he thought to himself. He looked over to see a large chested lady in the bed next to him.

"How are you doing Prince Radner? She said loudly.

"Whaaat?"

"You were telling the whole bar you were Prince Radner from Wales. You were so happy to meet a girl who did not want you for your money, You even made up a song."

"Oh god!" Ted grabbed his head in shame

"Yea, I knew you were just trying to score, sadly I have a weakness for guys in suits!" Big chested lady said putting on her Dress.

Ted opened his mouth to speak

"I am not even going to ask who you are!" she continued shaking her head and storming out.

**Kids It was then I realized how important barney was to the group. With out him I was the schemer, and an awful one at that. Barney was a much better Barney then I could ever be.**

Ted walked to the kitchen and opened a bottle of Gatorade. He grabbed his head and leaned on the counter.

"I still hate wearing these things; I don't see why I need to wear them for work!"

Ted turned to see Barney in the kitchen suited up.

"I am glad I have the day off ! I drank a bit too much" Ted said.

"Ted sit down"

Ted slunk down at the table "What barney?"

"Ted I am worried for you! I saw a ill dressed lady leave your room this morning. Women are meant to be respected. dude"

"Don't worry I wont be doing that again!" Ted said and meant it.

"You should not drink to escape your problems. I heard you fighting on the phone. If you are sad then let yourself be sad. I saw this special on _Dr Phil _ On how men are afraid to express their feelings. Just let it all out and cry"

Ted Looked up at Barney. Maybe it was the hangover talking but he really wanted to slap him.

"Ted I am going to teach you how to live" Barney continued.

In spite of it Ted giggled to himself. Even this Barney thought he had to teach him how to live.

Barney Left for work. A few hours later Ted cleaned himself up and called Robbin and Lilly and asked them to meet him down stairs. He needed his friends help with Barney, but most of all he needed some fatty food.

Robin and Lilly were already at their booth when Ted arrived. Ted sat down next to Robin and filled them in on everything. Robin pointed out that because he had situation specific it made sense that Barneys Amnesia did not seem to affect his work life.

Ted ordered some food while Lilly and Robbin sung along with Katy Parry's newest song.

"Listen I need your help. Tara said we need to make his life as normal as possible. I will need your help we will all need to be barneys wing men" Ted said. "without him knowing" He added quietly.

"Agreed!" said Robin.

Lilly's phone beeped. She looked at it. "I so agree" she almost shouted.

Robin and Ted looked at her in surprise.

"Barney has been sending me corny quotes about love and motherhood. He send me 20 so far. Now he sent me a video of a baby petting a puppy. " Lilly said putting her phone in front of Robbin. Both Ted and Robin cringed. "something must be done lets get barney hooked up!" Robbin said as everyone cheered.


	4. Chapter 4

That night Ted felt a little better. With help from his friends he would help Barney get through this. Instead of fighting he chose to play board games with Barney. While this would feel normal with Marshal it was not the same. At least Barney had stayed up till 10, he also had ate 4 slices of Fatty pizza and beer. . Not exactly a victory but a small step. After grading some papers for a couple hours he began to think about all the times he had been so hard on Barney. Once he got back to normal things would be different.

A moan from barney interrupted his thoughts

"You okay buddy?" Ted shouted.

"To much Pizza I think. I am okay now, just going to try to sleep."

"Call me if you need anything." Ted called back

Ted did not hear him make a peep till morning.

NEED INTRO

Ted decided it was time to hook Barney up. He chose to go to Hanagins By doing this there was a less likely chance of hooking barney up with someone he already slept with. The last thing he wanted was to explain the situation to anyone more then needed. Lilly of all people had pointed out that hooking him up with a past fling would be useless as Barney never hooked up with the same girl twice.

When Ted Arrived Lilly and Robin were already sitting in a booth near the back. He sat down only to see Marshal walk in.

"Marshal over here." called Lilly.

Ted sighed to himself. Marshal was not exactly much of a help. He hopped that Lilly had brought him around.

Marshal walked up to the table and quickly sat down. He did not want to create a stir in the group but he knew what he had seen last night

"I saw Barney last night, he was coming out of mclarins with a Blonde girl!"

"Marshal!" Ted shouted "Stop with the lies! Barney went to sleep at 10pm, trust me girls were the farthest thing from his mind"

"Ted I saw him, Blonde hair suited up"

"I am telling you he was asleep, I would have known if he left!" The walls are so thin; If someone in the hallway coughs I hear them!"

"Baby, are you sure you did not see someone else? Barney is...was idolized by many guys. It must have been someone else. !" Lilly said in a gentle voice.

Keeping peace was especially important to her now.

"Maybe" said Marshal looking down at the table. It was not like he had gotten a good look at him anyway. Plus everyone in the group had a doppelganger. Why did he have such a hard time seeing that his blonde friend was no longer Barney.

Barney walked into the Pub and spotted his friends. "Hi Barney" everyone said.

Barney sat down. He was not in a suit but a dress shirt and pants. Far better then jeans and a T-shirt.

"Hey Barney" Said Lilly and Robin.

Ted was distracted by a Tall red head. She was Hot but not as ...easy...looking as the last girl he had tried to Set Barney up with.

Ted caught her eye. "Have you met Barney?" he said.

"I am Sue" the girl said. Grinning at Barney.

Barney shook her hand and Lilly asked her to sit down; Sue sat down next to Barney.

"You are beautiful" Barney said looking at Sue.

"You are good looking your self " Sue said with a Smile.

"Can I kiss you?" Barney said.

Sue nodded and Barney Kissed her.

"If you come home with me tonight you are going to get lucky" Sue half whispered.

Barney looked up at Ted "Should I Bud?|"

"Umm..." Ted wanted to shout YES but now that it was about to happen he began to doubt if he was doing the right thing. What if Barney was not ready for this; or what if Marshal was right. Maybe Barney did not have amnesia, maybe he was using the accident as an excuse to change. Ted sighed. He needed to talk to some one impartial. Right now that person was Marshal.

"Will you excuse me for a moment?" He said giving Marshal one of their telepathic glances.

Ted and Marshal walked up to the bar.

"are we doing the right thing here buddy? What if Barney gets mad at us? Then we can never help him, or what if he is not ready? If has changed he might be hurt if he sleeps with her and she leaves in the morning." Ted asked

Instead of answering Marshal turned towards the Bar. Shots would not fix anything, but at least they would make things better tonight.

"Two whiskey shots and two beers" Marshal ordered. .

A bartender put the shots on the bar as Ted handed over a $20.

Before they knew what was happening a tall Blonde girl took one of the whiskey shots and slammed it back.

"Hey! Those are ours!" Marshall said.

Ted Turned toward the girl. He was going to tell her that she was rude and to keep her hands to herself.

But when he looked at the girl he noticed she was fighting back tears.

"I need it more then you do. I just saw the guy I slept with a last night ago night cuddling up to another Girl."

she said pointing to a fat man hugging a girl, who were standing behind where the gang was sitting.

"He is to ugly for you anyway Ted said"

Blonde girl smiled. And introduced herself as Piper.

"I mean what does he weigh, 300 pounds?" Ted said leaning towards piper

"Not that guy!" said Piper shooting Ted a disgusted look. _"Him!" _She said pointing right at barney and sue. "

"Him?" Ted said pointing at Barney "The guy sitting down in a dress shirt?"

Piper nodded.

"Did you mean to say you slept with him last _month" _Asked marshal

"No the other day We met at the bar Mclarans and he took me up to his room. Funny thing, he lives right above it.

Oh dear good the moaning...that meant.." Ted thought to himself. He handed piper the other shot and one beer, he felt too sick to drink.

"He told me that he was shipping of to India to save 3'rd world children this morning, I actually believed him!" Piper said taking a long sip of beer.

"So that _was _Barney I saw " Marshal said smugly

Ted just looked back confused, he still did not know if Barney really was faking or this girl was a bitter Ex. He figured them all approaching Barney together would be the only way to find out the truth.

Ted turned towards Piper. "You should tell him how you feel!"

"I should!" Piper said and marched towards the gangs table.

Barney was hugging Sue. The rest of the gang was looking around uncomfortably.

"You slept with me last night and never called!" Piper said glaring at Barney. Barney said nothing and shook his head at Sue smiling.

"He slept with me 4 nights ago!" a shorter Blonde said

Piper and the new girl glared at barney.

"_Jerk!" _Said Sue standing up from the table.

Eventually the three women left. Barney said nothing except to order wings.


	5. Chapter 5

A few moments later a waitress dropped off wings. Everyone stared at barney who just sat eating. eventually Robin shouted "Tell us! Was this just another scam?"

Barney looked up from his wings and smiled.

"Yes it was, I did it to prove how awesome I was, but I also learned how much you all love me. Yes even you said you missed the old me!" he added looking right at Lilly. "You guys just know how awesome I really am!"

Barney pulled a tape recorder out his pocket "and its all on tape" He added and grinned.

"So did you ever even lose your memory?' Marshal askedl as he stole one of Barneys wings.

"No, Lets face it I am awesome, I just wanted my friends to think I am as amazing as I am. Let me tell you the amnesia thing works. In fact this one babe...

**Kids being a gentleman I can not tell you what Barney said; so i will fast forward till a few minutes later.**

"But Barney! I went in and talked to Tara, she said you had amnesia!" Ted said then took a sip of beer.

"Oh Ted, ugly women need love too. She wanted to be with the old Barnicle. I told her I would sleep with her if she helped me. Let me tell you, what she lacks in looks she more than makes up for." Barney said raising his arm for a high five.

"I can't even look at you right now!" Ted said.

Instead everyone looked at Lilly. As the official punisher of the group she had the most say.

"You can't sit with us all week. Also you have to go hook up with piper tonight.

Yes, you have to sleep with the same woman twice!"

"And tell her you are sorry" Marshall added.

Barney cringed but said nothing.

"At her place!" Lilly added.

she ignored teds half whispered "pregnancy must have softened her" comment.

Barney hung his head in his hands "fine..." he barked and hit the table. In secret he was happy. He had gotten off pretty light. Barney went over to Piper , talked for a few minutes, and soon the two of them walked out of the bar together.

The next morning Barney walked back to his apartment. Lilly might have helped him discover something amazing. He had wasted so much time at his place making it the perfect area to seduce women. Not only did he not have to worry about cleaning up, but Piper was a lot more "liberal" in her own bed. However he had discovered something even more awesome. No, he had discovered HE was awesome. He had pulled one of his worst scams yet and all he got was a weeks banishment. He had gotten a month for much less.

"You are Legend..wait for it...ary, Legendary" Barney said out loud to himself.

He did feel guilty about one thing. Some very special friends had been hurt. He ran to his suit closet it had been over a day since he paid them a visit. He promised right there to not go a day without wearing one. He pulled open his closet and screamed. Every suit was gone. In its place was a single hanger with a note attached.

It read: Dear Barney,

I have taken your suits away.

Until you can show to me you respect

women you are not getting them back.

Signed,

Lilly.

Barney fainted at the site of the note.

**Kids Barney hit his head on the dresser on his way down. He got amnesia for 5 weeks. However it took us 6 to believe him.**


End file.
